{"product_id":"too-young-to-retire-too-broke-to-quit-too-fat-to-strip-funny-sarcastic-tee","title":"\"Too Young to Retire, Too Broke to Quit, Too Fat to Strip\" – Funny Sarcastic Tee","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eFinally, a shirt that sums up the mid-life crisis better than a sports car ever could. Our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"91\"\u003e\"Too Young to Retire, Too Broke to Quit, Too Ugly to Strip\" T-shirt\u003c\/b\u003e is the ultimate anthem for the overworked, underpaid, and brutally honest. If you’re stuck in the \"work-until-you-wither\" cycle and your backup career as a dancer was cancelled by genetics, this is the shirt for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003ePerfect for the office (on casual Friday), the bar, or just staring at your bank account in silence, this \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"106\"\u003eFunny Sarcastic Tee\u003c\/b\u003e is a total conversation starter. It’s the ideal gift for the coworker who’s had enough, the friend who’s perpetually tired, or anyone who appreciates self-deprecating humor. Crafted from soft, breathable cotton, it’s comfortable enough to wear while you contemplate your life choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e🧵 Key Features\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHilarious Truth-Bomb Graphic:\u003c\/b\u003e Features high-quality typography that delivers three devastatingly funny facts at once.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Premium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Breathable and comfortable fabric that feels great even when the grind feels heavy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A relaxed, versatile cut that looks great on everyone, regardless of their stripping potential.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurable \u0026amp; Long-Lasting:\u003c\/b\u003e Professional printing ensures the text stays crisp and bold through endless laundry cycles.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\"\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePerfect Gag Gift:\u003c\/b\u003e The ultimate present for birthdays, retirements (or lack thereof), and White Elephant parties.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e✅ Why You'll Love It\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eBecause some things are worth wearing on your sleeve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e✅ Grab Yours Now\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eAccept your fate in style—secure your \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12\" data-index-in-node=\"38\"\u003e\"Too Young, Too Broke, Too Ugly\"\u003c\/b\u003e tee today and let the world know exactly where you stand!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Hiyatee","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":56740215292070,"sku":"sku-44469661302863","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":56740215324838,"sku":"sku-44469661335631","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":56740215357606,"sku":"sku-44469661368399","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":56740215390374,"sku":"sku-44469661401167","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740215423142,"sku":"sku-44469661433935","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740215455910,"sku":"sku-44469661466703","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":56740215488678,"sku":"sku-44469661499471","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":56740215521446,"sku":"sku-44469661532239","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":56740215554214,"sku":"sku-44469661565007","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":56740215586982,"sku":"sku-44469661597775","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740215619750,"sku":"sku-44469661630543","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740215652518,"sku":"sku-44469661663311","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ S","offer_id":56740215685286,"sku":"sku-44469661696079","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ M","offer_id":56740215718054,"sku":"sku-44469661728847","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ L","offer_id":56740215750822,"sku":"sku-44469661761615","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ XL","offer_id":56740215783590,"sku":"sku-44469661794383","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740215816358,"sku":"sku-44469661827151","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740215849126,"sku":"sku-44469661859919","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ S","offer_id":56740215881894,"sku":"sku-44469661892687","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ M","offer_id":56740215914662,"sku":"sku-44469661925455","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ L","offer_id":56740215947430,"sku":"sku-44469661958223","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ XL","offer_id":56740215980198,"sku":"sku-44469661990991","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740216012966,"sku":"sku-44469662023759","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sapphire \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740216045734,"sku":"sku-44469662056527","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":56740216078502,"sku":"sku-44469662089295","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":56740216111270,"sku":"sku-44469662122063","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":56740216144038,"sku":"sku-44469662154831","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":56740216176806,"sku":"sku-44469662187599","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740216209574,"sku":"sku-44469662220367","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740216242342,"sku":"sku-44469662253135","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":56740216275110,"sku":"sku-44469662285903","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":56740216307878,"sku":"sku-44469662318671","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":56740216340646,"sku":"sku-44469662351439","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":56740216373414,"sku":"sku-44469662384207","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740216406182,"sku":"sku-44469662416975","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740216438950,"sku":"sku-44469662449743","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":56740216471718,"sku":"sku-44469662482511","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":56740216504486,"sku":"sku-44469662515279","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":56740216537254,"sku":"sku-44469662548047","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":56740216570022,"sku":"sku-44469662580815","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740216602790,"sku":"sku-44469662613583","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740216635558,"sku":"sku-44469662646351","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":56740216668326,"sku":"sku-44469662679119","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":56740216701094,"sku":"sku-44469662711887","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":56740216733862,"sku":"sku-44469662744655","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":56740216766630,"sku":"sku-44469662777423","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740216799398,"sku":"sku-44469662810191","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740216832166,"sku":"sku-44469662842959","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":56740216864934,"sku":"sku-44469662875727","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":56740216897702,"sku":"sku-44469662908495","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":56740216930470,"sku":"sku-44469662941263","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ XL","offer_id":56740216963238,"sku":"sku-44469662974031","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740216996006,"sku":"sku-44469663006799","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740217028774,"sku":"sku-44469663039567","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ S","offer_id":56740217061542,"sku":"sku-44469663072335","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ M","offer_id":56740217094310,"sku":"sku-44469663105103","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ L","offer_id":56740217127078,"sku":"sku-44469663137871","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ XL","offer_id":56740217159846,"sku":"sku-44469663170639","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740217192614,"sku":"sku-44469663203407","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740217225382,"sku":"sku-44469663236175","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":56740217258150,"sku":"sku-44469663268943","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":56740217290918,"sku":"sku-44469663301711","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":56740217323686,"sku":"sku-44469663334479","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":56740217356454,"sku":"sku-44469663367247","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740217389222,"sku":"sku-44469663400015","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740217421990,"sku":"sku-44469663432783","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":56740217454758,"sku":"sku-44469663465551","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ M","offer_id":56740217487526,"sku":"sku-44469663498319","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ L","offer_id":56740217520294,"sku":"sku-44469663531087","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ XL","offer_id":56740217553062,"sku":"sku-44469663563855","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740217585830,"sku":"sku-44469663596623","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740217618598,"sku":"sku-44469663629391","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ S","offer_id":56740217651366,"sku":"sku-44469663662159","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ M","offer_id":56740217684134,"sku":"sku-44469663694927","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ L","offer_id":56740217716902,"sku":"sku-44469663727695","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ XL","offer_id":56740217749670,"sku":"sku-44469663760463","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740217782438,"sku":"sku-44469663793231","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740217815206,"sku":"sku-44469663825999","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":56740217847974,"sku":"sku-44469663858767","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":56740217880742,"sku":"sku-44469663891535","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":56740217913510,"sku":"sku-44469663924303","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":56740217946278,"sku":"sku-44469663957071","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740217979046,"sku":"sku-44469663989839","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740218011814,"sku":"sku-44469664022607","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":56740218044582,"sku":"sku-44469664055375","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":56740218077350,"sku":"sku-44469664088143","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":56740218110118,"sku":"sku-44469664120911","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":56740218142886,"sku":"sku-44469664153679","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740218175654,"sku":"sku-44469664186447","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740218208422,"sku":"sku-44469664219215","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":56740218241190,"sku":"sku-44469664251983","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ M","offer_id":56740218273958,"sku":"sku-44469664284751","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L","offer_id":56740218306726,"sku":"sku-44469664317519","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ XL","offer_id":56740218339494,"sku":"sku-44469664350287","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":56740218372262,"sku":"sku-44469664383055","price":22.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":56740218405030,"sku":"sku-44469664415823","price":24.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0748\/8939\/6390\/files\/Too_Young_to_Retire_Too_Broke_to_Quit_Too_Ugly_to_Strip_Funny_Sarcastic_Tee.jpg?v=1783181503","url":"https:\/\/marysvillegeneralstore3.myshopify.com\/products\/too-young-to-retire-too-broke-to-quit-too-fat-to-strip-funny-sarcastic-tee","provider":"Marysville General Store 3","version":"1.0","type":"link"}